Morning peeps..

I'm not sleeping well this few days.. after the result came out to be exact. Why? Because I'm afraid to see my teachers. I'm afraid how people look into me. I'm scared. Yes, I feel like people will look down at me..

However, yesterday morning.. Teacher Laly saw me and Juju, and she called us. I approached teacher and said, "I am sorry teacher," but there's this big smile on her face.. and she said, "It's okay my dear." And when I saw her later that day, she even said, "I'm happy for you," again with the big smile on her face. In my mind, I keep on saying, "Teacher, don't be happy because I'm not happy about it." I even feel guilty..

When I entered my classroom U6-1, Teacher Tan (my Chemistry teacher) asked about the results. The moment she saw we (me and Juju) raised our hands when she asked, "Anyone get Cs?", she didn't say anything. Not even a smile oh her face.. So I can tell she's very disappointed with our result, maybe? I'm sorry teacher!

Later, I took my statement of result in one of the staffroom where my GP teacher was there too. Again, with that big smile on her face, she said, "Congratulation ah, I'm happy for you." Okay this is hard. It makes me feel even guilty-er. *Sigh.

Now that I think hard (very very damn hard) about it, I remember last year I almost give up in sixth form. I even tell my friend that I might go for nursing the year after. It's because I feel the teachers were looking down at me.. because I never get any good result.. even in mathematics! (It's actually because I didn't put enough effort on it) Worst, I never passes my Chemistry and my Biology is just a so-so. GP? Soooooooooooooooooooooo downnnnnnnnnnnnnn! LOL!

However, my friends was there.. cheering up for me. I even remember during my birthday, one of my 3-stooges friend wrote something like this: "Fi, good luck for your exam ah and mudahan dapat good result, so that next year Fifi inda payah masuk nursing." And so I kept on throwing away that feeling that tells everyone was looking down at me.. And laughing with my friends helped a lot! They never fail to make me happy and also.. Abang Azhar and my favourite, Asim was there. They keep on giving me hope.. And that actually makes me to work harder..

Maybe last year's experience make me feels even stronger this year. I'm not feeling that down, but yeah I'm disappointed with myself. My mother do gave me some more courage, but my father.. didn't even say a word.. which is quite frustrating. Again, I'm sorry I wasted your cents..

Okay I didn't realise it was a long one udah.. He-he. But I feel much better after letting it out.

Oh by the way I found this song.. and I'm dedicating this one to my close friend, especially to my 3-stooges friend lah ah..

Now it's time for me to revise my Mathematics/Biology/Chemistry. Which I'll be sitting for it like.. 3 hari berturut-turut.. *Sigh. But first I'll need to clean up this one.